I was reading Amanda’s post yesterday and it stirred things in my heart that I haven’t thought about for a really long time. This is not an attack on her post. It’s quite the opposite, actually. This is my weight story because I was one of those girls as well…then things changed.
I was a skinny kid. I was always doing something active. I was a dancer, a swimmer, a diver, a tennis player, a performer among other things that I have blocked out of my memory. I wasn’t always doing these things at the same time (who had time for that?), but I always was doing something. Summers were spent in the pool. Playing around, doing laps and competing.
When I entered high school, I was tall and lanky. I also got teased for my weight because I was so skinny. I wasn’t called anorexic. I ate. A lot. Like all the time. So, kids and even friends called me bulimic. I know they didn’t really mean it that way, but they couldn’t understand how I could eat as much as I did and not gain a pound. I was 5’9 and weighed around 125 lbs. I never really thought about my weight as being an issue because at the time it wasn’t.
After high school, and after competing, my weight started to slowly creep back on. I wasn’t as active and there was a tiny thing called alcohol that captivated me. I didn’t gain a ton of weight during college, but I did gain enough to notice…and to go up a size. It really wasn’t until I left college that the weight really hit me hard. Sitting at a cube for 8 hours and having a cafeteria downstairs just made it too easy to gain the weight.
I am still trying to understand the right view of myself, but sometimes it’s eye opening to remember where I was 15 years ago. I know that my body will change and it’s pretty normal to not be the same size I was in high school. I really don’t think I could ever get back there. But despite that, my view needs to change. It’s not a competition. My metabolism finally slowed down, and that is something I just need to accept and understand happens as you get older.
I am now a size 12 and I’m happy with that. I really am. But I mean, who doesn’t want to be back to a size 6? Yea, not this girl! Those curves have a story to tell! And I’m ready for them to tell their story. Let’s all love and support each other, because that’s what we need to do.