I remember being in Elementary school and all you wanted was to have the highest number of “friends” you could find. Do you remember that? The higher the number meant (in our Elementary school minds) that you were liked and popular.
As I have gotten older, I realized that it is more about the quality of friendships you have, not the quantity. Isn’t that almost the same as in life? You want quality over quantity. This started to become apparent to me in college when I moved away from everyone I knew and really started forging friendships on my own.
Some friendships you made in Elementary school are meant to last. I have a friend (a few actually) and we have known each other and been friends since 2nd grade (that’s over 22 years to anyone who wants to do the math) and I lived with one of them for 3 years.
But there are other friendships that you hold on to just because, and these people end up becoming burdens.
Do you know what I’m talking about?
The friendships that are a one-way street and you feel like you are doing all the work. The friendships that don’t really bring you any value anymore. The friendships that make you feel like a bad person for whatever reason. The ones where the “friend” can’t get over something you said and lets it stew for too long.
The friendship life cycle:
Some friendships aren’t meant to be long lasting ones. Some friendships are meant to be there for a short amount of time to show you the way toward something, and then they leave you. And this is totally Ok. Some people come into your life for a specific purpose, but they aren’t meant to stay forever.
But what happens when those friendships leave you? What do you do? How do you approach them? Do you even try?
What if you were really great friends with a co-worker, and then all of a sudden, it fizzled. You still have to see this person every day, but what do you do? You can’t necessarily ignore them, but you know that something has changed in your friendship. Are you just back to being co-workers and not friends?
I have never had a friendship like this, but I have friends who have and I have always wondered why they keep these “friends” around.
If someone is being negative, why are they in your life at all?
Shouldn’t we only keep people around who are positive and will push us to better ourselves?