This is a list of 25, but I will only share the top 5 for your viewing pleasure.
Maggie’s, often referred to as “Schwaggie’s,” is a grimy neighborhood bar located in the Toco Hills strip mall. The inviting slogan “Meet at Maggie’s” should be revised to the warning “Meat at Maggie’s.” The bar’s proximity to Emory University has earned it a reputation for being a frat-heavy haven, the kind of place with a permanent Jäger special. The bar’s three pool tables are commonly misused as giant coasters by underaged kids using the pool cues to maintain an upright position. Maggie’s is a great place if you’re interested in meeting a Snooki lookalike and having her put roofies in your drink.
Peachtree Tavern is the brightest star of the Atlanta cover band constellation, so you’ll have to pay $10 to get in the door. The bathroom makes a port-o-potty look luxurious and if you want to walk out alive, you’ll have to fork over more money to the hovering attendant. Maybe the Atlanta Braves would actually win another playoff game if they weren’t so concerned with getting blackout drunk here on Busch Light. The sports ties to Peachtree Tavern don’t end there, unfortunately. This is the same establishment where Jamal Anderson (former Atlanta Falcons running back and original Dirty Bird) was caught snorting coke off a toilet in 2009. Reflect on that next time you’re in here, pissing on the floor.
I have been to this bar a few times but I honestly can’t remember much about it. I do agree with the toilet situation (like most bars) and I possibly agree with the Atlanta Braves reference. Yikes.
#3. The Ivy
Did people wear seersucker and boat shoes without socks before the Emancipation Proclamation? The Ivy is a southern plantation with modern advancements in alcohol and throwback social norms. Rap is expressly prohibited before 1 a.m. for fear of attracting “the wrong demographic.” Although no membership is required to visit this horrible time capsule, you’re probably not welcome.
YOLO spring break forever! Ace Amerson from MTV’s The Real World: Paris owns the Mecca for reality TV as real life: a beachside frat house in Midtown Atlanta called Flip Flops. Enjoy a slushie! Take a body shot off a teenybopper! What else could a junior Parrothead want from the world? Trash Can-Barfing and Fist-Pumping are organized sports here. Don’t forget your visors and polos, brahs!
Oh the fist pumping. I don’t suggest going here…this description is pretty darn accurate. This place is pretty fun everyone once in a while. Let me take that back. Once. It’s fun once. That is all.
#1. East Andrews Cafe & Bar
East Andrews Cafe & Bar is the most central and popular bar in Buckhead’s East Andrews complex. The clientele consists of three types: 1) Old, rich skeez-bags desperately trying to get their balls touched; 2) younger skeez-bags aspiring to wealth; and 3) desperate and wild women looking to bang the richest dude possible. It’s typical to overhear humblebrags like, “I have a guy that stocks my humidor,” and “You gotta diversify, bro.” It’s hard to tell the difference between these mating rituals and the ones you see on Animal Planet. The nightly soundtrack for social climbers at East Andrews doesn’t vary much from Maroon Five to 50 Cent’s “In Da Club.” If you’re lucky, the 311 cover band will blow—your eardrums out.