You humans are so weird. You leave me alone in the house for hours at a time and then when I am minding my own business and watching birds go by, you think I am waiting for you?
I thought I finally had the house to myself! Why would I want you guys back? Ugh. You can stay gone!
You speak to me in high pitched voices. Again, why?
You call me lazy all the time. Have you checked your Facebook photos recently? And don’t even let me start on Instagram. Every photo on there says I am lazy. I am just laid back. Get it right people!
You call me some “B” name that isn’t even my actual name. Don’t you guys even know my real name? And what the heck is a Bubbaloo? I have never heard anything so weird in my life. Crazy humans!
You make that red dot thing come out every once in a while and I hate that. Going around and around in circles is only so fun. Stop doing that! I love it…and it’s awesome.
I try to look longingly at you so that you will get up and come pet me, but you just sit on the couch every night. What is up with that? Do you guys have lives? I have 9. I win.
I hope that big furry stinky thing isn’t coming back over here. That was the ultimate torture. Don’t make me suffer again. I know it was only for a few hours, but man…I think it drooled on me. Not cool.
All I want out of life is to be fed and petted. Is that too much to ask, humans? Please say no because if it is I need to escape NOW.
Thanks for letting me peck this post out. It took forever to peck without claws, thanks for that by the way! My life would be so much more fun if I could use my claws. But that is for another day. I really need a nap before you come home.
Thanks again, other humans who read this. Do tell me how cute and cuddlely I am! I will be reading this and watching you!